The Life of ME

confessions. daily thoughts. & figuring myself out.
Bane of my existence…my soulmate.

Bane of my existence…my soulmate.

🙌

🙌

We die to each other daily. What we know of other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them. And they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same is a useful and convenient social convention which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember that at every meeting we are meeting a stranger.

T.S. Eliot (via lazyyogi)

This is so true, yet SO tough.

(Source: lazyyogi)

Fate or Nah?

Why can’t I stop thinking about you? It’s very apparent you could give a shit but no matter what I do, no matter who I’m with, you’re always on my mind. I feel guilty because I’m in a situation with a person who would give me the world if they could but it’s different from how I feel about you. I guess this is me just looking through rose colored glasses because my future is with you. I don’t know if that means marriage, I don’t know if that means kids, I don’t know if that means traveling the world but I do know whatever it is, it’s with you. I’ve asked God to change my heart so many times to rid my spirit and life of negativity and those who truly do not have my best intention at heart…but you’re still there. Sometimes I feel like you only want one thing from me but then I think you wouldn’t go that far but what do you actually do for me? …we don’t talk on a daily basis at all, you don’t encourage me, you don’t spend time with me, but I can’t say you don’t love me. I know you don’t show it in rational evident ways but I feel it..when I think about you I get hot because there is something there and I don’t see how I can be the only one feeling this. I’ve had feelings for people before who didn’t reciprocate but I knew that, yet with you I just can’t get myself to believe that you don’t have feelings for me. I knew with certain people I could never make them love me but I know that you do, you have to. I mean after all of this time isn’t that why I’m still here? I’m literally the perfect ride or die just waiting and waiting and waiting…Why would I allow myself to be in love with someone who could never love me? Did you ever really love me or was it all just to get to that thing? I don’t believe that. I’m trusting my intuition and it’s telling me, if I’m struggling to let you go then don’t. You were my first time, a new feel.. Everyone says your first love is hard to get over but damn.. I’m starting to think my first love is supposed to be my only love, I would do anything for you and I’ve never said that before and actually meant it but with you I can’t help but feel that way. I know you’ve been with other people but I feel like all of that was merely physical…why do we always wind up coming back together..year after year after year…

controllablechaos:

“girlfriend wanted” by matthew gray gubler

“must love decorating for holidaysmischiefkissing in carsand wind chimes
no specific heightweighthair coloror political affiliation requiredbut would prefer a warm spirited non racist
cynicscriticspessimistsand “stick in the muds” need not reply
voluptuous figures a plus
any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense tomary poppinsclaire huxtablesnow whiteor elvira wholeheartedly welcomed
i am dubious of actresses, fellons, and lesbiansbut dont want to rule them out entirely
must be tolerant of whistlingtickle torturejames taylorand sleeping late
i have a slight limpeerily soft handsand a preternatural love of autumn
I once misinterpreted being called a coal-eyed dandy as a compliment when it was intended as an insult
I wiggle my feet in my sleepam scared of the darkand think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of all time
all i want isbutterfly kisses in the morningpeanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heartand to make you smile until it hurts”

controllablechaos:

“girlfriend wanted” by matthew gray gubler

“must love decorating for holidays
mischief
kissing in cars
and wind chimes

no specific height
weight
hair color
or political affiliation required
but would prefer a warm spirited non racist

cynics
critics
pessimists
and “stick in the muds” need not reply

voluptuous figures a plus

any similarity in look, mind set, or fashion sense to
mary poppins
claire huxtable
snow white
or elvira wholeheartedly welcomed

i am dubious of actresses, fellons, and lesbians
but dont want to rule them out entirely

must be tolerant of whistling
tickle torture
james taylor
and sleeping late

i have a slight limp
eerily soft hands
and a preternatural love of autumn

I once misinterpreted being called a coal-eyed dandy as a compliment when it was intended as an insult

I wiggle my feet in my sleep
am scared of the dark
and think the Muppets Christmas Carol is one of the greatest films of all time

all i want is
butterfly kisses in the morning
peanut butter sandwiches shaped like a heart
and to make you smile until it hurts”

It’s crazy how when you’re hurt you honestly never feel like you’ll get over it..like YOU KNOW you will but you don’t feel it.

Thankful

I always find myself coming here when there’s a new person of interest. I guess that could be taken as a good or bad thing. I want to record my feelings about people in the moment. I like being able to go back and reflect and see how I’ve changed and how situations change as well. I didn’t expect to be in the predicament that I’m in now but you never really know what to expect in life. I finally got everything I’d been hoping for and I’m more than satisfied.

Words cannot even begin to describe how much I love this. Is it possible to emotionally break down a person in a mere 6 minutes? Justin Vernon’s voice does something to me every time I hear it, I feel it in my soul. Hearing his sighs and sniffles in between notes is so touching. You know it’s real when you can literally feel someone else’s pain in addition to your own. This cover is so mind-numbingly good that even someone who’s never experienced heartbreak will feel some type of way after listening. Props to Bonnie Raitt for giving us this masterpiece. And of course Bon Iver, for blessing us with Vernon’s incredible falsetto. I will give up this fight.

I haven’t written in awhile because I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about what’s constantly on my mind. You think you’re over a situation and then when one little thing pops ups and reminds you of it you’re as fucked as you were in the beginning when you said you never wanted to see them again.

I haven’t written in awhile because I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about what’s constantly on my mind. You think you’re over a situation and then when one little thing pops ups and reminds you of it you’re as fucked as you were in the beginning when you said you never wanted to see them again.